Ulric De Varens

I'm sorry honey b it was not how you wanted it to be... I'm sorry it didn't work out how you meant it... I'm sorry b girl, I wasn't able to shout your heart out...
Even though, I hope you know this, I wanted. I wanted so so bad....
I tryed so hard to pop my eyes in sign of desperation, you saw my eyes b, you know I tried and you know he saw that, God, I swear those walls itselves could feel it.
Honey heart, you know I never wanted to hurt you, and if i did, I was blind, and if I wasn't blind, then it was not me, it was someone else who got me into it.
You know heart, I know you hurt a lot, but I guess today won't make you hurt any more than yesterday... and somehow I know you felt released, even though I haven't felt loved or apreciated undoubtedly... it just felt good, to spend that time!
But you know, like I do, we haven't got him back, and you want him, but I sure have realised that's not how life goes - I'm sorry for stabing you like this, but it can never go back to what it was, never again.
I'm sorry, this wasn't how I meant it... but things just happen the way they're supposed to, I suppose...

And I don't want to cut your precious skin like I do so often, I never wanted, but you're just too gentle and then people keep misunderstanding you, and steping on you. But the day I loose you, sweetheart you know I'll have lost everything... In the end, it's for some reason you are my
inocence.


And you b boy, after all, I think I did know you well once... You couldn't, you wouldn't, even when I saw you wanted it so bad. I'm sorry for not surrending. For the sake of it, I thought about holding your hand like my whole life was resting on it, and I tryed to bounce, I tryed to move but that fucking bitch called gravity kept pulling me down. You cannot imagine how I felt. If I know you just a little bit, even not knowing if you thought about it with reason, I know you tried, I know you exposed yourself.
Desculpa, não era isto que tinha em mente. Pelo menos olhaste-me nos olhos... L?
Espero que tudo fique em paz.