sick...

People will always think they know all about you, not matter how much or how little you confide them. But the perception one has of you is not actually based so much on what you deliberately tell them but more on their sensitivity to your way

of showing things. And showing things, like saying things, is not something you always need words for, for one only extracts of your presence what they choose to pay attention to.
So, no matter what, if you keep pushing yourself through the path of those who seek to diminish you, there is no way you can come across a fair mirror.
The only way to find self accomplishment and peace of mind is to acknowledge you have the right to your own opinions as much as anyone else, and the sense that whatever you feel at a time has a reasonable skeleton beneath it.
And all else you need will come in the form of love from that handful of trustful people who can actually see right through you, and still love you, through time, for your absolute core.