I neeeeeeed words

This is a sad text, for it's not about joy, nor about good feelings.

I've got to tell you: this is not the first time, and it surely wont be the last one.
As much as I need the air I breed, as much as I need the people around me, as much as I need the sound of music, I need words.

You're not gonna hear it from me - I can't speak it out -, but I need you to make me talk, like the fishes need the water.
You can't look at me and expect me to say what goes on my mind. Sometimes (most of the times) even though you ask me what's with me, or how I feel, I'll lie to your face, I'll look you in the eyes, swallow a tear and soak it inside me, and say "nothing".

For the best and the worst of it:
It is not about what you say to me, it's how you say it.
It is not about the things you do to me, it's how you do it.
It is not about what you do wrong, it's about the way you don't even realise it.

And sometimes it is like a snowball. And I just can't make it stop rolling... I can't get the weight off of my shoulders, like there was a shadow floating above my head; and my stomache twists, and the voices they whisper "it is not that much: you feel more than what's to feel, and you see less than what's in front of your eyes."

And suddenly, I stop believing. And that's how it happens.
You know how I feel about you, but I just can't believe what you say.
And it should be so much easier now, as it has everything to be good.
but..
You're real. You're my real thing, you're my real one, and you make mistakes - like I do.
And when you make things right, I can only regret the times I don't appreciate the little things you do for me - even if there are times my eyes are blinded to those good memories.

I want you back the way I had you.
I want the feeling.
I need you to talk to me that way, that makes me feel like I'm the only thing you need, that it's not all in my head.



And these were more or less the words I needed to tell you, if you wanted to hear me before the snowball smashes all the little things we've gained.

Please, hold me now, will you?